Self Reflection Exercises
- Written by Brian Chien 12/08/2020.
"Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions." - Jennifer Porter
Have you ever became curious about your potential and your undiscovered interest? Have you ever want to take a moment to think about how you can design your upcoming years? Self-reflection is a practice that I do twice a year. This article will share three different approaches to self-reflection, from the simple to the complex.
Simple Prompts
Required time: 15-30 minutes
Source: Article by Liz Peintner on Idealist.org
The prompts provided in the article is a great way to get a start on self-reflection. Self-reflection might be intimidating at times. By focusing on critical questions, you might find insights about yourself. Find a quiet space and dedicate 15-30 minutes. Look at the following five questions to discover "where you are." Record all the thoughts that came to your mind without any judgments. You may choose to write down your thoughts in a notebook or your computer.
What's important to me?
How has what's important to me changed in the past year? Five years?
How am I aligning my actions with what's important to me?
What's complicated about it?
What actions can I take today to find more alignment?
Setting Life Compass
Required time: 30 minutes per day for seven days
Source: Be Obsessed or Be Average by Grant Cardone
This exercise will encompass greater depth and areas. To figure out your purpose, record your first response without any judgment and without trying to figure anything out. Do it again. And do it again the next day and the day after that for at least seven days. Over time, you might notice repeating items or ideas, and you might find frequent changes even in just a short period. Keep an eye on the underlying trend and pattern. You might find your direction there.
Personal Interests
What excites me now?
What bores me?
What don't I want to do, no matter the payoff?
What do I do that causes me to forget to eat?
What have I been interested in since childhood?
What am I willing to do for no money?
What would I like to do for a lot of money?
Legacy
What do I want to be remembered for?
What contributions can I make to society that I would be most proud of?
What do I want to make sure people never say about me?
Inspiring People
Who are five successful people I admire?
What are those people doing that I admire?
What do those I admire have in common with one another?
What quality do I wish I shared with those people?
What do I have in common with that list of people?
If I could meet anyone who would it be? Who is the most supportive person in my life?
Lifestyle
What makes me feel good?
What gives me energy?
What things am I doing that I regret later?
What do I need to do more of that would make me feel better about myself?
Designing Life
Required time: 8-16 hours
Source: Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want by Daniel Harkavy and Michael S. Hyatt
Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy argue that most people don't plan their lives. Instead, people drift through the years, going where circumstances take them rather than taking control. This book offers a tool, Life Plan, for people to take control of their destiny. Whenever you make a plan, you must begin with the destination. Only by knowing where you are going can you figure out how you can best get there. Your life is no different than a business plan. You achieve greater potential with deliberate planning followed up by efforts. You take days to draft up a proposal for your work. Why not take carve out 1-2 days of your life to write a proposal for your own journey?
"One day can change everything. It's true for nations and individuals." The authors strongly believe the day you finish this Life Plan is the day that everything can change for you.
Creating a Life Plan in four steps: Are you ready to build your life's GPS?
Write your own eulogy.
Begin with the destination. The best way to identify your desired legacy, according to the authors, is to write your own eulogy.
Understand who those others will be. Writing your eulogy, the authors explain, begins with identifying all of your key relationships, either by individual name or group. You then describe how you want to be remembered by each group.
Establish your Life Accounts
Like bank accounts, life accounts either have a growing balance, consistent balance, or declining balance.
Some examples of Life Accounts are Spiritual, intellectual, physical, marital, social, parental, vocational, avocational, and financial. People may have different accounts and even a different number of accounts.
Understand your Life Account Balance
There are two essential criteria of a positive balance in a Life Account: passion (which is about enthusiasm and desire), and progress (which relates to results.)
If you have one or the other but not both, your Life Account is depleted.
If you have neither, that particular Life Account is severely depleted.
Define an actual action plan for each account
Write a purpose statement. This statement can be the overall goal, or precisely what you want to accomplish for that life account.
Include an envisioned future. This future is a scenario that describes the ideal state you want to reach.
Choose inspiring quotes that support your action in fulfilling this plan.
Identify the current reality. Reflect honest and detailed description of the current situation.
Define specific commitments. Make actionable steps on how you will reach your envisioned future.
State Progression Reflection
Required time: 60 minutes a month for at least six months
Source: Life experience of Brian Chien
In Brian's opinion, life is about progress more than just a standalone snapshot. After doing exercises like the ones mentioned earlier in this article, it is also worth learning how your overall 'state' is. Here is an exercise that may provide you insight into how your life is progress and if your growth trajectory.
Key definition:
Positive state: This is the time when, in general, you feel uplifted and are excited about life.
Neutral state: This is when you feel today is just like yesterday, and tomorrow will be the same. Last month is like this month, and next month most likely won't be any different.
Negative state: This is when you dread waking up every day. Sometimes you might even go to sleep with tears in your eyes.
A positive instance: An event that brings you closer to your life purpose, goal, emotional well-being, and self-realization.
A negative instance: An event that leaves you depleted, exhausted, disliking yourself, or violating your core values.
At the beginning of this exercise, do a self-reflection on how you think you are subjectively on where you stand (negative, neutral, or positive). Then, at the end of every month, reflect on instances that come directly to your mind. List down the event and give it a movement score. For example, "spending time with my family preparing family dinner +2", "got a promotion that I worked hard for +1.5.", "Had a misunderstanding with a best friend and ended up in an argument. And we haven't spoken for two weeks -2". Create a simple spreadsheet listing all the events with tags and the movement score. Plot the records with the x-axis as time and the y-axis as 'state.'
Example of Brian Chien’s state progression reflection.